Updated: Feb 26
If you like me struggle with boundaries you must read/listen audible.com
'Set Boundaries Find Peace'
By Nedra Tawwab.
It’s not something we talk about because it feels shameful like we are not capable of knowing better when we get into a mess due to a lack of boundaries.
But it’s not your fault if you don’t have boundaries in place it’s the way you have been conditioned & whatever has happened & formed you in your life.
You don’t know what you don’t know but when you do know you can make little changes.
Boundaries are hard for most of us especially if we didn’t learn them in childhood.
Personally, I think there’s a generational aspect to boundaries - from my experience, I can see that Gen Z have a good understanding and apply boundaries with education and awareness, consent for example, allowing them to move more comfortably with boundaries than previous Generations like my generation Gen X. Thanks to a TikTok education (I know but it's not all bad)
Here are Nedra’s 8 steps to setting healthy boundaries.
1. IDENTIFY areas where you are exhausted, resentful, or angry. Check-in with your core values.
2. DEFINE BOUNDARY: what do you not want to hear, see, or do?
3. TRUST YOUR INTUITION: Moments of "I feel it in my gut". "Something doesn't feel
quite right". Intuition tells you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. 4. SAY NO: don't apologize or give long explanations; you will dilute the power of NO.
Don't lie. Lying will most likely lead to guilt and/or anxiety.
5. BE ASSERTIVE, calm & polite. Pay attention to people's reactions. If someone gets
upset about you setting a boundary. It's more evidence that a boundary was needed. 6. DEFINE CONSEQUENCES and address boundary violations early.
7. LET GO OF GUILT. Your 'no' may empower the other person to take responsibility or to
make better choices instead of enabling them to keep doing what they're doing.
8. USE SUPPORT. If someone is being abusive or crossing boundaries, talk to a therapist,
mentor, life coach, or read a book on setting boundaries.
We would love to hear how what we talk about inspires you to change bad habits.
Let us know here at Healthie Homie where you struggle to put boundaries in place and how that affects you in your everyday life and what you have done or will do about it.
When you share it helps us all to learn & not feel so alone in our everyday challenges.
Your best health